2023 School Year Kick-Off (A love letter to our kids)

Dear Kids,

As we approach the start of a new school year, we want to take a moment to let you both know how incredibly proud we are of you. You have shown resilience, adaptability, and a strong work ethic over the past year, and we couldn't be more impressed with the young men and lil lady you've become.

Transportation

This year brings some changes in your schedules and how you'll be getting to school. [KID 2], you are now a high school freshman, and your school day will start at 9:05 am and end at 4:35 pm. When you are at [HOUSE 2], be ready to leave the house by 8:30 am, and you'll be picked up from school in the afternoons during those weeks. On the weeks when you are at [HOUSE 1], you'll need to leave the house at 8:30 am to catch the city bus, and you'll also take the bus home.

[KID 1], your school day starts at 9:05 am and ends at 4:35 pm, unless you have band commitments. Plan to leave the house at 8:30 am each morning. Once you start driving, please be responsible and consider taking your brother to and from school whenever possible.

[KID 3], we’ll take you to school, so don’t you stress little one. We promise to blast Taylor and Harry on the way.

Lunch

Boys, you may either bring lunch or purchase lunch each week. AP, If you choose to buy lunch, you will be given a lunch allowance of  $25/week and be responsible for budgeting it properly so that you don’t run out of cold hard cash on Wednesday. You may leave campus every day, but anything beyond the $25 is your responsibility. You will both have long days, so please make sure you are packing or buying healthy lunches and will leave you feeling satisfied and energized. .

[KID 1], now that you have the freedom to leave campus for lunch. Don’t do silly things. Be back on time. Be responsible.

[KID 2], DO NOT LEAVE CAMPUS.

[KID 3], mom and dad will pack your lunch, but you need to let us know what you don’t like so we can make sure to switch it up. Don’t eat anyone else’s food kiddo, dairy is bad news for your little body.

Bedtimes

With the new school year, bedtimes will be adjusted to ensure you both get enough rest for productive days ahead. [KID 2], your bedtime is now set at 10 pm, while [KID 1], yours remains at 10 pm.

If during the school year, you prove you can handle school well, a bedtime adjustment could be made. Exceptions in both cases could be made at the parents’ discretion either because of good behavior or because your homework requires you to stay up later. If you need more time for homework, please communicate that to your parents before bedtime arrives.

As always, bedtimes are exact. So please have your stuff handled and be in bed on time.

[KID 3] your bedtime will remain 7:30. Don’t try and negotiate. Resistance is futile.

Chores

Chores are still a part of your responsibilities at home. Please continue to stay on top of them and take care of your tasks promptly. At this age your parents shouldn’t have to ask you to do the same things you’ve been doing for years. Avoid the headache and just get them done.

Keep your rooms clean and organized and we’ll literally have nothing to bother you about. Your freedom is in your hands.

Screen time

Screen time limits are for children, and both of you [KID 2] and [KID 1] are young men. So no screen time limits this year. Handle this responsibility. Remember that screen time is only available after you have completed your homework, chores, and other necessary activities. School first, always.

Homework

Look, we know homework is dumb. We didn’t like doing it, and we get no pleasure from the fact that you will have to do it. But that’s the thing. You have to do it. So please just do it. Ya know, like Nike. Don’t make us chase you about it. We will stay out of your homework business as long as we see you getting it done and that you’re taking the time to do it well. If homework isn’t getting turned in or you are getting less than B’s on assignments, we’ll have a check-in and probably have to change our policies. Then we’ll be all up in your business and probably start driving you insane. Save yourself the trouble. AMIRIGHT!?!

Grades

You both have proven your intelligence and capabilities time and again. We expect you to maintain the high standards you've set for yourselves. [KID 1], as a high school senior, your academics play a significant role in your future endeavors. Aim high and continue striving for excellence.

[KID 2], you’ve got a clean slate, but every grade counts as you march towards college. If you’re gonna get that doctorate, you’re gonna need those As.

Bring home the As, and we’ll bring the dolla dolla bills to your bank accounts. Bring home anything less than a B, and we’re going to have to get involved in your schoolwork.

If you ever need support or face challenges with your schoolwork, please don't hesitate to reach out. We are here to help you in any way we can, but we also need you to communicate with us. Don't wait until the last minute if you're struggling; let us know early, and we'll work together to find solutions.

[KID 2], specifically talking to you here. High School is very different from elementary and middle school. You’re going to need to learn how to study in new ways. Please talk to us about your challenges and successes. We want to know what is working and where you are looking for good techniques and strategies. Learning to study now will make the rest of your education so much easier.

Communication

We've equipped you with powerful tools, your phones, to help you stay organized and communicate effectively. Use the Austinites chat to share details about your schedules, schoolwork, and any other important information. Don’t tell one parent and expect that they are going to tell all of the others. The parents will make sure everyone has access to the family calendar, but we need you to be proactive in keeping yourself organized.

This year presents new challenges and opportunities, and we have every confidence that you'll handle them with the same grace and determination you've shown in the past. Remember, we are here to support you in any way we can, but we also trust you to take responsibility for your actions and choices.

Lots of love,

Your parents

What I’m up to now

Basics

• Live in Austin, TX with my wife, two boys, daughter, 2 cats, and a dog

• Exploring this awesome city, one bite at a time

dad-ing

• Raising teenage and pre-teen sons

• Working on that girl dad thing and loving every minute of it

Working

• Building a business that supports nonprofits doing amazing work

• Opening a store because it is a lifelong dream

Reading

• About to start The Elements of Pizza by Ken Forkish

• The latest David Sedaris book

Thinking

• How I can do better and be an educated, vocal, and present ally for people of color

• What comes next in my career as I look for new challenges that also have an impact

How We Meet

My team meets a lot. We met a lot before we adjusted to working from home, and now we meet a lot just to stay connected. Hallway conversations have been replaced by slack messages and the few minutes of chat before a meeting starts on Google Hangouts. As a team, we're constantly refining how we work and we recently decided to put pen to paper to outline how we meet. We aren't looking to cancel all of our meetings (but some do need to go). Instead, we are hoping to improve the ways in which we meet and make our time together more meaningful.

What follows is a snap shot into how we meet. This document lives on our Google Drive and will evolve as our team evolves. I’ll make sure to keep this page updated as well. It will change as our needs change. Sharing it here in hopes that a similar exercise can help others save themselves from the pain of too many meetings and meetings that don't help you get your work done.

Thanks to the entire team who gave input here: Allison Kooser, Amanda Agundiz, Alyssa Billmeyer, Maddie Defino and Francesca Gattuso.

Monday Team Meeting

Purpose: 

To talk through high priority questions and topics so that the team can move forward throughout the week with clarity and direction.

Guidelines:

• Be on time.

• This is our big meeting each week, so we need to use the time with intention and purpose.

• Agenda items should be submitted to Ian by 10am on Mondays.

• Agenda items must be specific and should include 1-2 questions to answer or 1-2 decisions you’d like to make during our meeting.

• Whoever is running the meeting will determine whether or not to discuss the topics during the meeting or to ask that the questions/topics are presented on Slack.

• The meeting agenda will build in 5 mins for us to get settled and say hello. I missed you guys over the weekend!

• The meeting will continue to be a 45 minute discussion, but it will not go past 45 minutes. It can, however, end early.

Daily Standup

Purpose:

To check in with the team, answer questions, tear down roadblocks and celebrate wins.

Guidelines:

• Be on time.

• Come prepared with 2-3 questions, problems or tasks you need help resolving

• It's okay to say you have nothing to cover today.

• This is not a status meeting, so don’t run through a laundry list, we’re on the call to help support you, so make sure you set us up for success!

• Also bring something fun every morning — a fun fact, a story, a trivia question, something you’re loving, a joke...whatever! This is our daily team time, so we get to be all team-y and have fun. 

• These calls should not last longer than 15 mins, but can end early.

All Other Meetings

Guidelines:

• Be on time.

• Before you schedule a meeting, ask these questions: What does this meeting need to solve? What answer do I need to get? And do I need a meeting in order to get that answer? 

• Only invite people who need to make decisions or will help inform others who will make decisions, but make sure you keep any relevant team members aware of the meeting so they are not surprised. When you make your attendee list, see if you can delete someone (or multiple someones) before you send invites. 

• Provide an agenda in the meeting notes or as a separate email ahead of time. This should be based on the question from step one: the thing you need the meeting to solve. 

• Schedule meetings for the tightest time frame you can, they’ll take as long as we let them. Don’t feel constricted to multiples of 15 minutes. 

• Follow every meeting with notes that outline what was discussed, provide context and what the outcomes were -- remember these are your notes, so they're only helpful if you know what they mean. These notes can be distributed to attendees and others. Allow the attendees to amend the notes if they have a comment or remember something different. Allow the non-attendees to ask questions about something in the notes.

• End meetings early or on time and if you are going to run over, be sure to ask if everyone is able to give you more time or schedule a follow up meeting for another day/time.

It was never the office

It was never the office that made us a team. It was never the office that made us successful. It was a commitment to working together, towards a common goal or set of goals. The office was a tool in our belt before technology gave us a slew of other tools. We’re empowered in different ways now and we’ll adapt. We’ll be equally as productive, if not more so. I realize the transition will be hard for some people. Work has been this way as long as we’ve known. In 20 years we’ll look back at offices and think about how much space was wasted, how many resources thrown at building a place none of us truly LOVED spending time.

Because it was never about the office.

It was about the people.

And we still get to work together.

If you’re struggling to figure out this remote working thing, let’s chat. Shoot me a note and I’ll share some of my habits and best practices. Consider it an opportunity to network in this new world.

A user manual to working with me

I recently came across a post that shared the concept of user manuals for others to read when they are preparing to work with you. I’ve been thinking a lot about this idea lately, so I decided to create my own. If we’re just starting out in our working relationship, I hope this gives you some useful insights and I’m excited to get to work with you too! Keep in mind this is in a constant state of evolution. I don’t expect my answers to stay the same, so if we work together already, it might be worth checking back once in a while.

What are some honest, unfiltered things about you?

What drives you nuts?

Really the only two things drive me nuts. 1) When people don’t take responsibility for their actions and 2) when people lie. If you don’t do either of those things, we should be able to work through anything else.

What are your quirks?

I dance. I sing. I do these things when you least expect and then I do them all the time. I can’t control it, so I’ve basically stopped trying to. I just have energy I have to get out and it comes out in the form of dance moves that I think I’m good at, but would probably just embarrass my children. On top of that, I love to keep things organized, I’m not sure if that is a quirk, but it is a thing, so I’m writing it down.

How can people earn an extra gold star with you?

Show me that you care about other people. Put them first in your words and actions. It really isn’t more complicated than that.

What qualities do you particularly value in people who work with you?

• You love working with people

• You value your work relationships

• You’re organized

• You challenge the way things are and always look for ways to make things better

What are some things that people might misunderstand about you that you should clarify?

I’m bossy. Well, I guess I’m not bossy, I just like things done a particular way. That said, see the above question, last bullet point. If you can make a case for why something should be done another way, I’ll always listen.

How do you coach people to do their best work and develop their talents?

The only way I can be a successful coach is to get to know you. When we start working together expect that I’ll want to know things about your personal life. I’m going to want to understand how you think, what you enjoy doing, how you think lettuce grows. SO MANY QUESTIONS. Then I’m going to likely put some structure in place, but also allow some things to happen organically. Like task on our plate, coaching requires an individual approach, a clear plan and an agreement on what success looks like. That’s different for every person I work with. I want to help you be the best you can at the job you’re doing, so you should fully expect me to jump in head first.

What’s the best way to communicate with you?

Slack, text, email. Make sure you make it clear when you need an answer from me. If you call me, I’ll always answer, but it should be serious.

What’s the best way to convince you to do something?

With clear, short messages. Say what you mean and mean what you say. We’re both busy, so get to your point, make your case and give me time and space to think about what you’re saying.

How do you like to give feedback?

Oh, I love to give feedback in all of the ways. I’ll tell you verbally, I’ll write it in a note, I’ll even sing it to you in a song. Feedback makes (both of) us better.

How do you like to get feedback?

I hate feedback. Just kidding. See above. Get creative. Tell it to me straight.